Monday, 20 May 2013

DBT Describing Emotions - ENVY

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own.  ~Harold Coffin

Envy Words

Envy     Disgruntled     "Green-eyed"     Bitterness     Displeased     Longing     Covetous     Dissatisfied     Pettiness     Craving     Down-hearted     Resentment     Discontented     Greed

Prompting Events for Feeling Envy
  • Someone has something that you really want or need but don't or can't have
  • Someone gets positive recognition for something and you don't
  • Being around people who have more than you have.
  • Someone you are competing with is more successful than you in an area important to you.
  • Others get something you really want and you don't get it.
  • Being reminded that you don't have things you want when others do
  • You are not part of the "in" crowd
  • Someone appears to have everything
  • You are alone while other are having fun
  • Someone else gets credit for what you've done
Interpretations of Events That Prompt Feelings of Envy
  • Thinking you deserve what others have
  • Thinking others have more than you
  • Thinking about how unfair it is that you have such a bad lot in life compared to others
  • Thinking you have been treated unfairly by life
  • Thinking you are inferior, a failure, or mediocre in comparison to others who you want to be like
  • Thinking you were unlucky
  • Comparing yourself to others who have more than you.
  • Comparing yourself to people who have characteristics that you wish you had
  • Thinking you are unappreciated
Biological Changes and Experiences of Envy
  • Muscles tightening
  • Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening
  • Feeling your face flush or get hot
  • Feeling rigidity in your body
  • Pain in the pit of the stomach
  • Jitteriness, nervousness
  • Feeling nervous tension, anxiety or discomfort
  • Hating the other person
  • Wanting the person or people you envy to lose what they have, to have bad luck or to be hurt
  • Feeling pleasure when other experience failure or lose what they have
  • Feeling unhappy if the other person experiences some good luck
  • Wanting to hurt the person or people you envy
  • Having an urge to get even
  • Feeling motivated to improve yourself
Expressions and Actions of Envy
  • Doing everything you can to get what the other person has
  • Working a lot harder than you were to get what you want
  • Trying to improve yourself and your situation
  • Taking away or ruining what the other person has
  • Attacking or criticizing the other person
  • Doing something to get even
  • Doing something to make the other person fail or lose what he or she has
  • Saying mean things about the other people or making people look bad to others.
  • Trying to show the other person up, to look better than the other person
  • Avoiding persons who have what you want.
Aftereffects of Envy
  • Narrowing of attention
  • Attending only to what other have that you don't
  • Remembering and ruminating about all the other times that others have had more than you.
  • Ruminating about what you don't have and not being able to think of anything else.
  • Making resolutions to change
  • Discounting what you have, not appreciating things you have or that other do for you.
Typical Secondary Emotions of Envy
  • Shame about feeling envy, anguish
  • Feeling degraded or humiliated in front of others
  • Frustration, anger or hostility

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