DBT Emotion Regulation - Understanding the Emotion

“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use  them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”  ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Functions of Emotions: What Emotions Do For You

There is a reason why humans (and other mammals) have emotions. The purpose of regulating emotions is NOT to get rid of them. We Need Them!

Emotions Motivate and Organize Action:

• Emotions motivate our behaviour. Emotions prepare us for action. The action urge connected to specific emotions is often "hard-wired".
• Emotions save time in getting us to act in important situations. Emotions can be especially important when we don't have time to think things through.
• Strong emotions help us overcome obstacles - in our minds and environment.

Emotions Communicate to and Influence Others:

• Facial expressions are connected to emotions. Facial expressions communicate faster than words.
• Our posture, gestures, words and voice tone can also be hard-wired. Like it or not, they also communicate our emotions to others.
• When it is important to us to communicate to others, or send them a message, it can be very hard for us to change our emotions.
• Whether we intend it or not, the communication of emotions influences others.

Emotions Communicate to Ourselves:

• Emotional reactions can give us important information about a situation. Emotions can be signals or alarms that something is happening.
• Gut feelings can be like intuition; a response to something important about the situation.
• The can be helpful if our emotions get us to check out the facts.
• Sometimes we treat emotions as if they are facts about the world: The stronger the emotion, the stronger our belief that the emotion is based on absolute fact. "If I feel unsure, I am incompetent."
• If we assume that our emotions represent facts about the world, we may use them to validate our thoughts or our actions. This can be trouble if our emotions get us to ignore the facts.

EMOTIONS DO NOT VALIDATE OUR EXPERIENCE OF THINGS

Factors Reducing Emotion Regulation

• Biology - Biological factors may make emotion regulation harder
• Lack of Skill - You don't know what to do to regulate your emotions
• Reinforcement of Emotional Behaviour - Your environment reinforces you when you are highly emotional.
• Moodiness - Your current mood (apathy, irritation, boredom) not your skills controls what you do.
• The Emotional "Sea Of Dyscontrol" - With overwhelming emotions, you fall into the "sea of dyscontrol" where you feel like you are drowning under hurricane strength waves of emotions.
• Emotional Myths - Emotion myths get in the way of your ability to regulate emotions. Myths that emotions are bad or weak lead to avoiding emotions. Myths that extreme emotions are necessary or are part of who you are.