Monday, 20 May 2013

DBT Describing Emotions - JEALOUSY

“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on.” ― William ShakespeareOthello

Jealousy Words
Jealous     Cautious     Clinging     Defensive     Fear of losing someone/something     Self-protective     Mistrustful     Rivalrous     Suspicious     Wary

Prompting Events for Feeling Jealous
  • Someone is threatening to take away important things in your life
  • A desired relationship is threatened or in danger of being lost
  • You find your lover is having an affair
  • Someone goes out with the person you like
  • Someone ignores you while talking to a friend of yours
  • A potential competitor pay attention to someone you love
  • Someone is more attractive, outgoing or self-confident than you
  • A person you are romantically involved with looks at someone else
  • apparently flirtatious behaviour of your partner towards someone else
  • Your boy/girlfriend tells you that s/he desires more time alone
  • Not being treated with priority
Interpretations of Events That Prompt Feelings of Jealousy
  • My partner does not care for me anymore
  • I am nothing to him/her
  • He/she is going to leave me
  • He/she is behaving inappropriately
  • I don't measure up to my peers
  • I deserve more than what I am receiving
  • I was cheated
  • No one cares about me
  • My rival is possessive and competitive
  • My rival is insecure
  • My rival is envious
Biological Changes and Experiences of Jealousy
  • Breathlessness
  • Feelings of rejection
  • Fast heartbeat
  • Need to be in control
  • Choking sensation, lump in throat
  • Becoming mistrustful
  • Muscles tensing
  • Feeling helpless
  • Clenching teeth
  • Wanting to grasp or keep hold of what you have
  • Feeling suspicious and mistrustful of others
  • Having injured pride
  • Wanting to push away or eliminate your rival
Expressions and Actions of Jealousy
  • Violent behaviour towards the person threatening you
  • Threatening violence towards the person threatening you
  • Attempting to control the freedom of the person you are afraid of losing
  • Verbal accusations of disloyalty or unfaithfulness
  • Spying on the person
  • Interrogating the person, demanding accounting of time or activities
  • Collecting evidence of wrong doings
  • Clinging, enhanced dependency
  • Increased or excessive demonstrations of love
  • Increased demands of sexual activity
Aftereffect of Jealousy
  • Narrowing of attention
  • Being hyper-vigilant to threats to your relationships
  • Becoming isolated or withdrawn
  • Changing the interpretation of previous events to suggest that jealousy is reasonable
  • Seeing the worst in others
Typical Secondary Emotions of Jealousy
  • Feelings of hatred
  • Becoming anxious of others
  • Feelings of shame or guilt

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